Rebirth

"Faithfulness to the past can be a kind of death above ground. Writing of the past is a resurrection; the past then lives in your words and you are free" - Jessamyn West


I feel as though I have already lived four lifetimes and I will soon move on to a fifth. While in my life, I experienced all new things on earth. I taught myself how to ride a two-wheeled bike, became best friends with my younger brother, and had to say good-bye to my biological father. In high school, I had to adjust to social criticism and learn that the world can be a harsh environment when you want to just "be yourself." After high school, I moved away to an entirely different state and learned who I was outside my comfort zone. Now, in the last year of my college education, I'm getting to know that future Vanessa.


I find this quote above to abolish boundaries between "chapters" in our lives. Sometimes we may feel as if we have lived many lives within our one lifetime that we are given here on earth.


A literary character who has demonstrated this idea well is Jasmine, the narrator and main character of the novel Jasmine. It is actually hard to distinguish her by her name through out the novel because as she takes on a "new identity" or "life," her name also changes as well. She begins with the name Jyoti in her native land of Hasnapur, India where she is arranged in a marriage with a man who truly wanted to take care of her. When he is killed in a bombing, she sees no other choice by to travel to the United States to carry out their plans. Once she arrived in Florida, Jyoti explains, " But Jyoti was now a sati-goddess: she had burned herself in a trash-can-funeral pyre behind a boarded up motel in Florida. Jasmine lived for the future" (p. 176). Here, Jyoti is becoming more "American" Jasmine, letting go of the past while em brassing the future. Also during this transition, her employer gives her the nickname Jase. Jasmine em brasses this identity as well. " For every Jasmine the reliable caregiver, there is a Jase the prowling adventurer. And last, but not least, as Jasmine becomes more settled into America, she takes on the identity of Jane, the wife of a white banker in Iowa, (how much more "white bread" America could you become?). It's clear that by the end of the novel, Jyoti has transformed over many selves into Jane. She whispers to herself, " Jase, Jase, Jase, as if I am calling someone I once knew." (p. 215).


Although Jane has been many selves over her lifetime, this is not to say that it was an easy journey. On the contrary there are many pains she had to endure. Imagine leaving your homeland to travel overseas and settle in a land of strangers! She admits, " Once upon a time, like me, he was someone else. We've been many selves. We've survived hideous times." (p. 214). Some individuals even describe her as being a "tornado" (p. 205) and leaving a "path of destruction behind her" (p. 205). I feel this is an entirely harsh statement towards an individual with little guidance in America. Jane is very courageous. She faces difficulties everyday and within these difficulties, she finds herself having to transform herself in order to survive. She states, " I changed because I wanted to. To bunker oneself inside nostalgia, to sheathe the heart in a bulletproof vest, was to be coward." (p. 185).

Since Janes attitude was open to whatever life threw at her, she was better able to adjust to life in America, even through harsh conditions. She "wanted to become the person they thought they saw: humorous, intelligent, refined, affectionate." (p. 171). For Jane's journey, "nothing was rooted anymore. Everything was in motion." (p. 152). Her deep interest in becoming someone knew was a determining factor in her journey as well. Jane was very curious about what America had to offer and admits that she " had every reason to fear America, was intrigued by the city and land beyond the rivers." (p. 145).

As Jane clearly demonstrates, we must be open to new experience in order to carefully "change" or even learn something new. I will be traveling to Thailand this summer for a month-long educational experience and I am already preparing myself for the experience. I will have to eat Thai food, be immersed within their culture, and experience all foreign things. I may even pick up a few nicknames by the locals :). But, the truth is, this can be seen as either a negative or positive. I can reject what I see, taste, learn. Or I can become a better person by opening my mind and spirit to adventure and discovery. There is one certainty though, I will not be the Vanessa that landed in Thailand after I have left.